enveloping

not at all

2005-04-04T21:36:00.000+08:00

Robespierre's frantic attraction to his lover the cabinet maker amuses me v. much. His "faithful follower" Saint Just just makes me go, Yeah Right. However, nothing really makes me want to think further than that. Robespierre sex might make me crumble, and I didn't even crumble at SoccerBoys.mpg.

And to affirm my totally incoherent state:
Wen thinks I'm absolutely nut crazy for missing geography. My mother is kind of relieved that I don't look like a gunny sack in the new uniform. Anyway, I think Gery kind of rules. LB makes me melt like candlewax.

sans fotografia

2005-03-09T18:57:00.000+08:00

In the spirit of Addie, I followed RHB till it became too obvious today. RHB's really gorgeous like you wouldn't believe. As much as I hate to admit it, I am a bit like Hsien in terms of having the ogler genes.

Cryptically -
TS - 2
WD - BRK

I feel like crap because I just came back from the Library@Orchard, hungry and broke and wishing that I was seventeen soon and then wishing I'd stop at seventeen. Teens are backing away faster and further than the onset of the twenties. The real hill is there at twenty, after that, it's over the top, over the hill, before you know it you're fifty and either married or not.

Because we didn't have PW period today, I spent a lot of time singing badly to Wen's guitar playing and penning porny lyrics for our (mostly non-existent) band. I'm rather good at it if I do say so myself, though not genius enough to come up with lines like, "Like a hungry ape", which Nicole did.

Though imagine! A future Hollywood tune: Show me your instrument, the bigger the better/I'll be your tuba player.

Has anyone heard Fotografia by Morelenbaum2? Bloody brilliant song.

haircut with lisa!

2005-03-08T19:17:00.000+08:00

So the highlight of my day was when this hot old man stepped on my feet and asked me, "You okay?" in an accented voice. He might have been V's forty-one year old man, for all I knew. Even so, it got my shoes damn dirty.

Went out with Lisa who's a complete shopaholic! I love her though, it's great that I finally dared to do something different with a haircut. It's sort of slanty and it was layered so much that the morning Afro may be more manageable. This is sort of optimistic already.

litwing / dance clinic

2005-03-04T18:59:00.000+08:00

I maintain that schooldays are always great when teachers cancel classes. Hooray to Perry and Barney, who had a shitty enough time schedule to give us some slack. We went to Venezia where I spent a lot of money on soup, ice cream and chicken steaks. Vincee and I gossiped a lot. I love Vincee tonnes, but that's difficult to miss.

I went for Lit Wing. No one went for Lit Wing. We did the Brownian Theory of Connective Sense. Actually, it was possibly a label that had more scientific or philosophical connotations, as I'm just bullshitting. It was great. Seriously, some great lines were read. I wonder if this is how Sylvia Plath writes her poetry.

Gery, Andrew (Foo) and I went to watch people at the dance clinic. I went to watch Lisa and Jill, the loveable honeys from 14/15. Gery went to perv on Random Dance Senior whom she salivates continuously over. Andrew went only because we peer pressured him into doing so.

Classic conversation:

Sam: Lisa has a really perky butt.
Gery: Yeah.
Andrew: So, what colour is it?

We walked really slowly to class and to the bus-stop because we kept gossiping about brilliant people in humans. Gery kept trying to be humble and denying her braininess. I'm just sort of happy that I've found people who take the same bus as I do home.

danceworks '05

2005-02-27T08:58:00.000+08:00

WE GOT THIRD, BITCHES! :D

By that, for you doubting characters, I mean out of twenty four teams and not out of four. Eventually, I don't think anyone whom I asked to come down and watch did watch, seeing that there were a million delays and that we were the third last team to perform, but I really appreciated the effort. I put the flowers in a vase and my house smells like something great.

i'm a transvestite from transylvania

2005-02-25T19:48:00.000+08:00

I just about spontaneously combusted with amusement today when I realised that the Hwa Chong website listed me as a male. Contrary to popular belief, I am actually a ramrod straight female with pervy intentions toward ~~cockporn~~ male fictional characters.

After dance practice today, which exempted us all from the death-inducing cross country run, I went shopping with several dance seniors. We ate at Yoshinoya and gossiped a lot. It's the general consensus that I look like a kid. I also lost my phone temporarily and had a panic attack in the middle of a sports store with lots of good looking apparel too expensive for Gates. Also, tomorrow is Danceworks, 1 pm at Toa Payoh HDB Hub. Go watch?

I finally completed my student's survey. Burge says that I'm blackmarked by the DM with the receding hairline. I hope he's joking.

bacon STRIP.

2005-02-22T22:08:00.000+08:00

Today was great. Barney spent Econs talking about random things that evidently made no connection to Econs, Math was a tutorial and not an hour and twenty minutes of convenient naptime being thrown at my feet, and there was nothing else to actually need much exertion of my sole brain cell except to try to figure out the identity of Wilson's mystery ex.

Obviously, I'm just kidding, but only re: the last bit.

I'm tired from dance. It's getting better as we're getting better, like some cyclical sort of episode, some sort of tropical storm accelerating with height. I drank a lot of water and killed both my leg muscles with all that hopping. It was rather uneventful, except at the point where the male dance seniors started stripping each other in glee.

screw history!

2005-02-20T20:34:00.000+08:00

Thumbs up to the next person who says "Screw History". Though honestly, if the Enlightenment doesn't come out tomorrow, it'll be "Screwed Sam".

JTS was great fun. I've never been to a place like that at night. I meant to type a longass post about Dramafeste, but everyone else seems to have summed it up more or less completely. It'd be usless to add anymore.

O level results are supposed to expose their bits on Friday. It will evidently not be as funny as cockporn. I spent my day burning CDs. I love mixing CDs in different languages, though everything of mine is English, Japanese and French dominated. French - Mylene Farmer, oh oh oh. Turns one on more than the round world.

My lips are peeling from dehydration, even though I spent the last few days bundled in shade. It feels like I've been transpiring unwittingly. Miles said Louis XVI was a reticient man. I wish he had died at birth.

I keep wanting to say to the air, "Where are you going to leave me when you do?" Maybe we'd all wish of each other what I wish of a king who was dead before I was born.

dramafeste

2005-02-19T01:45:00.000+08:00

I'm bloody happy. :D

even more lack thereof -

2005-02-14T21:00:00.000+08:00

Added to say that, what, why does it seem like the whole world is dating? Three quarters of us aren't even properly legal yet. This is actually a cue for Lisa to say, "You're such a Mormon!"

I'd stick with "completely innocent", porn exclusive.

romance! or lack thereof

2005-02-14T20:46:00.000+08:00

My dad was in a rush all evening. He got a call to take the next flight to Indo, had to eat his dinner in only minutes and then rush off. Somehow it made it worse that it was Valentine's Day, though I don't really care about the names of days, it made me feel sort of scared and I felt like crying a bit. But that feeling's gone now. He's coming back from the airport because he couldn't get the flight.

In the beginning of Jay Chou's Qi Li Xiang video, you can see up the girl's nostrils and it disturbs me more than karaoke at three a.m. You know, if I popped myself in a plane to Taiwan and camped out in his home, maybe I'd make it famous enough to be a music video chick. Really, all I need to do is to look satanic and have exaggerated external nares. Though I must admit, having to grope Jay Chou in a field is more than a little creepy.

pornpits of doom

2005-02-13T11:06:00.000+08:00

Chelly still hasn't replied to my SMS. I fear I may be the only one still stuck in my porn pit, smoking crack comics about gay baker boys and whinging about my lack of money. I'm far too lazy to be a prototype of somebody else. I keep eating oranges. This morning I woke up with phlegm and I thought it might be orange rind I choked on yesterday. Fat hope, bad luck.

Recently, I've been becoming gastronomically bitchy. After demanding a lot of time and sin off Vincee, I only watched it twice, before switching to QaF despite its seeming drug promotion and smoking and all those things that pseudo Mormons cringe to think about, because I'd watch it any day just for that opening theme clip - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 -

Also. If someone has blank CD holders of the plastic variety, could I buy or bribe some off you somehow? My hard drive is bursting and I have no place to put any of them anywhere.

vday and earrings

2005-02-10T16:15:00.000+08:00

I went to my granny's today for a great lunch. My cousins rehearsed the Dramafeste script with me. One of them was from Hwa Chong some years back. Anyway they were adopting all these different personas that the characters could take, and it suddenly felt like fun. After we broke for food, I watched this hilarious Hong Kong production on love. Amazingly, I don't think it was meant to be a comedy, but I could hardly tell. I mock romance far, far too easily.

This Monday will be Valentine's. Every Valentine's there'll be some angsty comic coming out in LIFE! where one or two characters will either be in love and five or six despairing that they're not. I'm not a cynic, but I think, what a waste of time. There's so much else to appreciate other than some skanky love for two.

My ears are swollen from wearing these gargantuan hoop earrings yesterday. Such a cruel price to pay for vanity! Honestly, I'm hopeless with these jewellery inventions. I attempted to put on my normal earrings the night before, only to find myself stabbing aimlessly at the lobes and causing great pain.

screw to you and your balloons

2005-02-10T11:21:00.000+08:00

I ate so many oranges yesterday that my thumbnail's stained yellow, like it's yellow with fever. Lips are cracking from the heat. I use the lip balm Zhiying gave me last Valentine's that says, "Oh-so-SAM butter balm", which I'm currently regretting. Like everything else oh-so-SAM, it seems like it doesn't make healing a very fast process.

Happy New Year, everyone.

another sunday

2005-02-06T19:48:00.000+08:00

Completely out of point but somehow relevent because I wish it to be, for anyone who knows Japanese:

If I want to say someone has something, ie. Gackt has big breasts, is it 'Gakuto-san wa ookii mune ga arimasu', 'Gakuto-san no ookii mune ga arimasu' or do I use 'imasu', in which case it would imply that breasts are living organisms?

This afternoon I had pie crusts, hot apple sauce, cooked apples, vanilla ice cream, french fries and two satays for lunch. I burned my tongue on the apple sauce and it feels raw like a just-dead fish.

I want to get my ears candled. It was in the papers a couple of days ago, LIFE!. They put a candle in your ear and burn the top, whereby a vacuum is created and your earwax is suctioned out. There is honestly nothing more appealing to me than the traditional novelty of it all, though the price is a little off-putting. Sixty-four dollars to get bits of whatever earwax is made of being sucked into another tube, also made out of wax.

Speaking of waxes, when are you going to get your legs waxed, Vincee? (If this is a secret message me and I'll take it down, because really, I take that nothing is not meant for telling unless it's explicitly stated so, in which case I will guard it as Barnard guards his Tiger juice.)

x

2005-02-04T21:25:00.000+08:00

I don't enjoy dragging myself around like a burden.

entree

2005-02-03T18:15:00.000+08:00

People are starting to say "WTF YOU BROKE YOUR LEG?!" which I did not. Although I do think that if I did, it would be in a plaster cast and not encased in fabric. To be specific, fabric that makes my leg itch like a flesh habitat of mosquitoes. In fact, it is starting to be a very bad idea to take all the weight off my left leg, seeing that all the hopping around against everyone's shoulders is damaging it more than if I sprinted 4.2km on rollerblades and making my armpits ache.

I told Hsien last night that I have a macho complex. I'm still very much inherently female, only I hate to look weak. Two years ago, at OBS, I cried four out of the five days, one day because I was so terrified of heights, another day because I was going to be sick in my canoe, another day because I missed my watch - from all sorts of absolutely ridiculous reasons, and I hate that more than anything.

Anyway, Ailene and I were inspecting Bernie's Bobbert. We both decided, after little contemplation, that he was possibly more female than the both of us combined. So not in these words precisely. But that's okay, just like how I'm still on page 116 of Good Omens after three weeks is okay.

I NEED URGENTLY TO WATCH 2046 AGAIN.
I close my eyes and sometimes picture myself on the train heading toward 2046. I've got a two-way ticket but the train only goes one way. I threaten to sue them but they said I should have read the small print first. Just like that, the half-translated Chinese in my head, the urge to put my face close to the screen to get images faster than air, the Wong Kar Wai-ness of it all. Vincee, you really have to watch it some day.

a badly memorable day

2005-02-02T14:53:00.000+08:00

"Andrew felt at liberty to ridicule me publicly by drawing cartoons of me being wheeled around the campus in an office chair on the board." That was a long sentence. "I love my class." That would be a short sentence. What makes a terrible miracle is that both are true. Of course in both cases I happen to emit certain details, eg. "drawing cartoons of me falling on my face and having Barnard's bendy chair squash me"/eg2. I love my class a lot a lot a lot.

I'm completely confused by Barnard sometimes. I think it's because he emits infra-red at a larger rate due to greater surface area. It makes the room v. warm and it's difficult to concentrate. Thank goodness it was the first lesson of the day. I could barely concentrate during Burge's, seeing that Isaac now has photographic evidence of me yelling as we finished the 4 x 100 m race with me as the baton.

consistence state of anger

2005-01-30T19:53:00.000+08:00

According to some research I read not long ago in the papers, excessive swearing causes impotency. Here I come, adoption.

I have felt too near the edge of breaking apart and crying and beating random small animals up lately, assholes included. More than likely, it's the influence of songs entitled "Riddim to Go" or of some equally moronic name. I can't believe I screwed myself into a little hole with the same sort of moronic name entitled "Inter-CT Debate". My eczema hurts. I blame it on the passion fruit scented Body Shop moisturiser that the ants are strangely attracted to. I found a near colony swarming over some toilet cleanser some weeks ago. I drowned them in sink water; at least, not piss.

Geometric progression is startlingly difficult. Sigma notation connotates the devil. I would beg help from my cousins, but two are neck-up in their own reincarnation of the sigma, while the other is neck-up in loss of intelligence resulting from two and half years in the Singapore Army.

wen no tanjoubi

2005-01-30T17:45:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday, Wen!

Also, my belly button is peeling.

The Body Shop's Passion Fruit body butter smells, after a prolonged period of time, like toilet cleanser. Thank goodness for testers. As uncontrollably stupid as this sounds, I took neoprints and love my friends too much, especially for today, which is a day too short to bear the responsibility to be called the best day of the week. Despite this messed up sort of denial, it is.

bandage 05

2005-01-29T23:16:00.000+08:00

One thing Bandage has proved is that I would pay my week's allowance to listen to a concert by Stargazing Down Jalan Rama Rama. Gosh, I haven't felt as alive as now, despite getting hit in the back of the head by a green lightstick. Nicky, I bet you threw it.

vaguely catatonic bum-ache emotion

2005-01-27T20:13:00.000+08:00

There was a crasher today; second time in the week. There was no maths today; first time in the week, maybe first time forever. We ate at a small place with the pool just out of our reach. Compared with the world outside, everything we ate was washed out and beige, like the communist school uniform the J2s wear. Vincee committed unspeakable crimes involving our friend and his supposed lover, he played the part of a brutally brutal Brutus. A traitor, if a fairly funny and campy one.

Dance was great, though failing to tone me up. There is still a roll of flubber breaking its wave on the top of my waistline. I wonder why it hasn't started to kill me. I feel like sticking my head out of the window and shouting, "I'm a magic beef!" only they'd put me in an asylum.

reminder

2005-01-26T15:49:00.000+08:00

need 2apol.2 CTHK.

cross-dressing + dramafeste auds

2005-01-25T19:36:00.000+08:00

Cross-dressed for Barnard's class though I just looked like a tiny girl in big clothes, Jonny said it looked like I was wearing pyjamas; I regret I didn't wear the shirt with the collar. I've always wanted to wear a uniform with a collar. As for A15, which I've begun to call 'our sister class', it is a class consisting of spectacular people and one asshole. There was, predictably, a boringish CT session and then, contrary to that, Dramafeste auds today. I played two different girls with the same voice, hung around with Vincee till half past five, forgot the entire dance sequence of yesterday. Finally, because of my exhaustion, I ate rice for dinner (surprise, surprise, etc.)

Agenda:
- LT4 (26th)
- Quiz: Sat
- VBC: WTF?
- Inter-CT d.

mathematics

2005-01-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

I'm deprived in the way that I have some sort of one-sided affair with fresh air, and that the people and the factories and the slaving units of labour are killing him slowly with gaining enough of a livelihood to make their own romance. In other words, Tn = (a+[n-1]d) is more useful than my inherent ability to love, because it achieves something that I can't.

STJ

2005-01-22T10:10:00.000+08:00

How is it that the Esplanade can feel like some sort of out-of-whack, out-of-synch eternity? I understand now when they say that the sea is like a field of fabric at night, the kind that suffocates you if you care to jump in. The lights were so sparse, I thought, honestly, that they'd make me warmer if I put my hands over them.

We walked there. I hopped my way beneath trees. It smelled like night and haze.

I grabbed Vincee's hand and dragged him over to see the water. Lisa said the highway looked as if it was coming out from it. I played a monkey on the guard rails. Before that, we sat in a circle and I fell asleep for a while against Ailene. My angel wore striped socks too. Someone took a photograph of our feet when our shoes were off. The Esplanade has a flooring such that I would cartwheel on it if I knew how to.

I'm reclining against my own mouth with all these descriptions, remembering to remember. I had a blast last night, of the quiet sort.

the school & dance

2005-01-20T21:13:00.000+08:00

I have an unprecedented sort of vulnerability in this big school, because I don't know everyone by face or by name, and this gives me less control over what I know. It's a school that's big and gorgeous and extends further than I can run in ten minutes. Of course, technically, I run very slowly.

I only flush after running. Like a toilet, except flushed red. I was flushed from dancing today, despite getting kicked in ridiculous places by different people at the same time. I hate the word "dancing", because you can't really tell from the way I act, like your favourite chorlor girl. It seems to possess some sort of beautiful meaning that I absolutely cannot allow myself to go near. Trying to be half gorgeous really kills me with the effort, but on occasion, effort is unnecessary when you have invincible pink shoes.

4 players

2005-01-18T16:25:00.000+08:00

For players, it's I leave you as I love you.

escapist moment

2005-01-18T16:15:00.000+08:00

I escaped the moment I could. Much like the French, our class is decentralised: lopsided to the right wing, lopsided upward. Like a bird that can barely take flight. Between classes, I felt like I could lie on the tables and just read a book. I'm still not done with 'Good Omens'. Maybe it's because I haven't been seeing any lately.

Someone wants to take Wen as a wife. Lisa's apathy is scaring me. My galpals are enormous fun. My new shoes (!) squeaked over the courtyard, or at least, pretended to squeak. All I did today was to try a little less.

dusk is a woman, history a man

2005-01-17T19:06:00.000+08:00

I remember sitting in class reading a sentence of my history notes over and over again. I cut my hair shorter on Sunday, obscenely so.

I hate dusk. It's a colourless dusk in Singapore, and yet because it is so colourless, it is easy to identify with it. In the morning, however, she performs for us a striptease, but because her belly is the earth, she's never completely in the nude.